Happy Birthday...

No weekend recap this week...

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Today would have been my friend Diane’s 30th birthday today. She passed away in October and was never granted the opportunity to share this day with friends and family. A day doesn’t go by where I don’t think about her, as she was a huge part of my life and that void will never be completely filled. Due to life and silly issues, I never got the chance to say Hello or Goodbye, and that truly breaks my heart.

It’s said often, but I don’t think we truly sit down and think about it, “Life is short”. You have no idea when it will be your last day, and I think many of us don’t live each day to its fullest.

We can take advantage of the simplest pleasures, hugging our loved ones, feeling the warm sun on our noses or eating yummy frozen yogurt. The boy is always asking me why I take a million pictures, and I guess its because I want the memories and a way to look back at the good times.

I’ve often thought to myself if somebody wanted to make a movie of my life, would anyone want to watch it….Don’t think so ( I don’t even think I could get it on Lifetime…LOL). I live my life in fear. Fear of change, Fear of the unknown, Fear of Failure and Success.

I know what I am capable of, but being comfortable, uncertainty and FEAR allows me to stay on the same boring path, day after day. I know what I want for my life, for my future, and I just need to get the COURAGE to do it. To be able to live my life to the fullest and treat each day like it could be my last (to a limit, no sky diving or high speed chases in this script…LOL)…that’s a blessing an opportunity that many are not granted.

I can’t continue thinking what if and letting that hold me back, only I can create my own destiny!

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Happy Birthday!

Loss...

No weekend recap this week....

Yesterday I found out a very old and close friend was in a horrible wreck and passed away. To say things have been an emotional tornado would be an understatement. Right now I am all over the place and a basket full of emotions and feelings that I don’t know how to fully process yet.

What has been so hard is the fact that for various reasons, me and my friend had not talked for awhile. She had been having some difficulties in her life and kind of disappeared. Well out of the blue my sister saw her last Friday, got her phone number from her and passed it along to me. I was so ready to reconnect and put things behind us and start from scratch…I mean this had been my main squeeze since 6th grade, she was in my wedding and I was there holding her hand when she had her first child. We had a ton of history behind us and not talking for a few months was not going to stop our friendship from growing.

Well I was unable to get in touch with her over the weekend, when a mutual friend contacted me yesterday to tell me she had been in a freak accident leaving her house and was killed. I literally felt my heart break into a million pieces… It dawned on me; I would never get a chance to talk to her, mend things over, and just give her a hug to let her know the past is the past.

I know my friend and I know she would never want me or anyone else to sit around in sadness thinking about her passing. She would want us to celebrate her life with smiles, laughter and lots of good times!! From the words of one of my favorite songs…..

Dip your feet into the ocean.

Let the sun beat on your skin.

Soak in every emotion,

that you never thought you'd live.

And never take for granted,

every breath you're breathing in.

Go everywhere you've never been,

Everyday, live it like it's your last one.

Ever kiss, kiss it like it's your first love.

If i had one wish; then I would wish

that you would live today like

Everyday, Everyday is your last one.

This is not Good-Bye...its see you soon!