...Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay...
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart.
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
( Miss Jessie J.)
Progress…Progression….I took the first step to rectify my situation. I spoke up! I went to the problem and addressed my issues, concerns and frustration and can I just say it felt AMAZING. I felt like a huge balloon filled up with angry air (if that even makes sense…LOL) and I was able to just release everything. I gave that person a big piece of my mind and though the problem is not fully corrected I am able to feel good that I made the first step to change my negative situation.
At this point I feel things can only get better, I have removed that stress off my back. I have decided to never allow myself to be put in a situation like this again. I was blessed with a mouth (a big one at that) and I will never be unheard again. If I have an issues or concern I am going to voice my feelings about it and go on with my “Blessed” life.
Plus I don’t get paid enough to be stressing so much over this situation…I figure at least if I was doing pole dances I would get the perk of wearing glitter every day to work!
I plan on having a WONDERFUL weekend, enjoying my Loves, eating good food and buying something that makes me smile!
Okay, I needed to get that out, before my head exploded. I am in situation that I must encounter on a daily basis that drives me INSANE. It’s something that I shouldn’t allow to effect my life so much, but I can’t help it. It makes me kookoo bananas that everyday I have to witness this craziness and when I tried to speak up I was told it was none of my business..um okay!
My friends and family are SO FREAKING tired of me complaining about it, and honestly I’m sick and tired of it being a part of my life and I swear the next person who tells me I should just suck it up and be happy, is going to get punched in the face.
Basically I need to KILL my Job (and buy some new lipstick…you know how I roll!)
This was such a low key weekend, we literally went out for a couple of hours and then spent the rest of the time at home.Were in the process of going through things for our big “Move-in” in a couple of months, and I am slowly realizing I have a TON of stuff, on top of that I’m kind of selfishso I thought giving up some of my space was going to be the death of me.
The thing is you know you truly LOVE someone when things are so easy.We moved in some of his stuff and it felt right, everything meshed together and I know this was a good indication of our future together.
Along with that, I also found out I don't know how to cook a pancake (unless black and charbroiled is your thing) , I shouldn't chit chat it up when I am using sharp knifes (I cut myself TWICE in class, and now have band-aids covering most of my fingers) and I can easily be talked into purchasing the most random things. (PINK WIG...LOL)
We finally made it to the zoo…and it was kind of Lame. I know I am adult, but can’t I have high expectations and expect to be dazzled by animals. We were going to go on Saturday but after the boy tried and tried to get me up, he just gave up and snuggled up with me and we woke up at 3:00…yes 3:00 p.m, which means we didn’t actually leave the house until almost 5. The sad thing is while we were out and about all we did was complain about how tired we were…ha ha. Were such Sleep Whores!!
Well on Sunday we got up pretty early (actually I kind of sleep walked to the car and passed back out once in the car, but hey I made it to the car) and ventured out to the zoo. It was actually pretty nice and cool and not a ton of people when we got there, so we start checking out the scene. I think they should consider changing their name from Zoo to House of Birds. That’s all they had there were stupid birds…loud birds, really loud birds, bright birds, bald birds…blah blah blah BIRDS!!
Then when we finally made it over to the cool animals, (Hey Mr. Lion) they were ALL Sleeping, I was like really animals your going to sleep when I got my butt up to come and gawk at you. I could have totally stayed at home and watched Loco sleep, for FREE. In the end it was still kind of fun to go on a mini trip and realize OMG, we are so not ready for children (there were some Bad kids running around, with no home training)!! Plus I got to make a stop at the outlet and add to my ever growing Blush collection. (Funny thing, I actually ended up buying a blush I already had...and totally getting a lecture that I am blush hoarder...WELL I NEVER!!)
On another note, the boy calls me at work the other day to tell me he is cleaning out his email and has all of the emails I’ve sent him, over 400 (CRAZY). So I told him to send me the first email between us and it made me chuckle, because it seems SO LONG ago, 2007 to be exact. At the time we started “dating”, we didn’t live in the same town, so it was a lot of emailing, texts and phone convo’s, but honestly I think that’s one of the reason were still going strong. We were actually able to get to know each other and become friends, before jumping into a relationship. In the email there were some pictures attached that I had sent him, so I had to share. Here is me circa 2007…LOL!!
So, ya I kind of love you…and look forward to your calls during the middle of the day to chat about nothing.
I’m crushing over the fact…that after almost 4 years you still want to hold my hand in the car.
My love grows daily…and I can’t get enough of your smile and those green eyes.
I am beyond blessed… to have someone who loves me, fake hair, bright lips and all. (but secretly I know you love me most fresh face)
I thank my lucky stars …you enjoy cartoons as much as I do.
Oh before I go…you should know I am hopelessly in love with you…and love that you don’t make fun of me for picking one movie theater over another…because I like the popcorn better.
And I am thankful its Friday and get to have late night dinner with you, drinking cranberry juice and laughing with her favorite CRAZY waitress!!
I had plans this weekend to be a good blogger and actually use my camera (and not my beloved IPhone) and take tons of lovely pictures. Well I did that, I took tons of lovely pictures, but now I can’t find my stupid cord so they are all stuck in my camera….BOO (Double BOO because I had on the cutest dress perfect for spring!!) So your stuck again with the few pictures I did take with my phone.
We didn’t make it out to the zoo, mainly because I was in a sleep like coma and couldn’t Muster the energy to get up a decent time …but it’s on the agenda for next weekend. We went and saw “Hanna”; it was really good, different than expected, but still really good. We took the fur baby to the dog park, and within 3 mins he looked like this….
I know GROSS…LOL
(you can kind of see my new Spring dress here)
We tried an Italian restaurant we had never been before,Carrabba's Italian Grill, and stuffed ourselves with an insane amount of fried cheese, bread and PASTA!!
Played around with fun headgear...
And had a very random encounter. So last week in Austin was Texas Relays, the only way I can describe it, basically it’s the African-American Spring break here in Austin. Tons and Tons of people come from all over to party for this weekend, (on a side note after living in Texas for almost 5 years I just found out there are actually relays that take place….LOL). You can read about it here on wiki.
Anywhoo, so the boy and I are on our way to the movies and were stopped at a light, and the car next to us is blasting music super loud. So we look over and there are two guys in the front and two girls in the back. The two girls are dancing it up and start gesturing out the window to us….so were look um look away, these people are crazy.
So of course its like a train wreck and the boy is like OMG, they are totally getting out of the car and coming over here…but no they stop in the street and start BOOTY DANCING…yes "dropping it like its hot" in the street…oh it gets better, the girl I could actually see was wearing a crop top and what I am hoping was bikini bottoms (the boy swears they were just underwear, but I wasn’t letting my mind go there). It was the most surreal CRAZY moment ever, and it definitely stuck to Austin’s motto of “Keeping things Weird”. It totally made me think of this commerical...
PS - OMG...Please check out this new CD.
I have been listening to it NEW STOP!! The singer is AMAZING, the lyrics are AMAZING, its going to leave you feeling AMAZING. It has that 90's old school R&B feeling! Its just good music!!
So it’s been a minute since I talked about the Wedding, or Wedding planning. Mainly because we don’t have time to breathe, let alone plan a wedding…
Well I am going for my first dress fitting next month, and I am super nervous, because the CONTROL FREAK has not seen anything related to this dress since our first meeting. (and those were drawn sketches), so I have no idea what I am in store for..**BITES NAILS**
I’ve been thinking about little aspects of the big day, and I truly could care less about all the hoopla and hurrah that can surround a wedding. I just want a special day that legally unites me to the man I truly love. (maybe not so much this morning, for various reasons…LOL).
But here are a few things that have been inspiring my little brain when it comes to our special day…
( I am thinking of doing my hair in this manner...thoughts?)
Well I am counting down the seconds until the weekend, things going on...
Day trip to the zoo, picking up my bright pink MAC lipstick, lemon creme brulee, organizng my crazy closet, seeing "HANNA" and sleeping in (or so I would like to think, but then I will be awaken by a CRAZY little dog who has some how fallen in LOVE with the loudest dog toy...ha ha!)
Today would have been my friend Diane’s 30th birthday today. She passed away in October and was never granted the opportunity to share this day with friends and family. A day doesn’t go by where I don’t think about her, as she was a huge part of my life and that void will never be completely filled. Due to life and silly issues, I never got the chance to say Hello or Goodbye, and that truly breaks my heart.
It’s said often, but I don’t think we truly sit down and think about it, “Life is short”. You have no idea when it will be your last day, and I think many of us don’t live each day to its fullest.
We can take advantage of the simplest pleasures, hugging our loved ones, feeling the warm sun on our noses or eating yummy frozen yogurt. The boy is always asking me why I take a million pictures, and I guess its because I want the memories and a way to look back at the good times.
I’ve often thought to myself if somebody wanted to make a movie of my life, would anyone want to watch it….Don’t think so ( I don’t even think I could get it on Lifetime…LOL). I live my life in fear. Fear of change, Fear of the unknown, Fear of Failure and Success.
I know what I am capable of, but being comfortable, uncertainty and FEAR allows me to stay on the same boring path, day after day. I know what I want for my life, for my future, and I just need to get the COURAGE to do it. To be able to live my life to the fullest and treat each day like it could be my last (to a limit, no sky diving or high speed chases in this script…LOL)…that’s a blessing an opportunity that many are not granted.
I can’t continue thinking what if and letting that hold me back, only I can create my own destiny!
1. Figure out a mini Honeymoon location. We’ve decided right after the wedding to do something small and wait until next year to get all out. Right now my vote are:
a. Mini – Chicago or St. Louis
b. Big – DISNEY WORLD
The boy wants to go somewhere tropical, but we will see who wins!!
I would love to hear suggestions on things to do on a Honeymoon (get your minds out the gutter…LOL) I just don’t want us to end up going out of town to stay in bed all day watching Law and Order SUV. (Even though thats my Show!!)
2. Take my little fur ball to the vet. (Side Story – My mom sent me new sheets, black…the day after I put them on the bed I woke up to find it COVERED with dog fur. I couldn’t believe he even had fur left on his body. At this point I don’t think the sheets can even be saved, the “Perks” of letting a little fur bot sleep with you.)
3. RELAX, RELAX and um….RELAX. I love having time off from my crazy busy schedule and enjoying this beautiful spring weather and of course EATING GOOD FOOD!!
I am also going to convince my SWEET, HANDSOME and LOVING, guy to buy me some pretty dress (wink..wink)
